I wrote this eulogy for my wonderful Mom, Lorraine, who passed away from stage 4 breast cancer.

I’d been struggling to come up with what to say for today’s celebration for my Mom. Grief avoidance? Probably. How do you take all those memories of one of your favourite people and condense it down into a three minute speech? 

Then last weekend Blair, Miles, and I were at the cabin with Dad and I wanted to make cinnamon buns as my contribution to Easter brunch the next day. As I was mixing, measuring, and kneading out the dough, I had this feeling come over me like a cozy blanket being draped around me. I suddenly knew that Mom was there with me, guiding me, and ensuring things turned out right. Making cinnamon buns for Easter brunch is exactly what she would have done for us. I’m an… okay… cook, but sure enough, this batch of cinnamon buns were the best I’ve ever made. 

Mom was always ready with a hug and a big smile as ways she told you she loved you, but even more than that, her love shone through in the food she made for friends and family. She loved feeding people. If you ever attended a meal at Mom and Dad’s, this love of feeding people was obvious because there was always just so.. Much… food. And she always made things that she knew you liked. 

In high school, our house was the place my friends and I spent most of our time. Mom always made sure there were plenty of snacks for us famished teens, ensuring there was always a batch of fresh made cookies or other tasty treat for us. She liked that it gave her a chance to connect with my friends. She even earned herself the nickname “Mumsy” from my friend Amy. As I grew up and my friends started to bring their kids to our family dinners, she made sure their kids were included too. There was always marshmallows and chocolate on hand at the cabin so the kids could make smores over the bonfire. This earned her the nickname “Cabin Grandma” from Colton, the son of my friends Sarah and Matt. 

At Christmastime she was always baking up a storm. A parade of Christmas cookies, brigadoon tarts, fresh fudge, coconut marshmallows, pyrishky, cabbage rolls, cranberry marmalade. The list of her holiday recipes goes on. One Christmas she gifted Dan and I each a bread shaped cutting board with a copy of her famous fruitbread recipe that she’d hand burned onto it. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. 

Mom loved trying new recipes, and surprising people with new favourites. She was always so excited for the themed meals she’d put together for my parent’s famous card night or for the fancy canapes and treats she’d come up with for the Safeway Christmas parties or for her golf ladies. She’d spend hours researching and reading cookbooks. I loved getting to be her sous chef and taste tester, experiencing her enthusiasm in the kitchen. I always got roped into being the waiter at these parties, too, but that was always fun and I got to eat the leftovers. 

Mom had this magic power where she could open the fridge or pantry and just know what to make without any planning. Surprise guests? She just happened to have the right ingredients for her sweet and sour spare ribs. You were feeling sad? Here comes your favourite monster cookies. Just needing a last minute weeknight meal? Here’s the most delicious sausage, mashed potatoes, and tomato soup combo coming right up. Under the weather? She’ll cook up a pot of her borscht. It’s a magic power that I wish I’d inherited from her, but I think that power went to my brother instead…. 

If you asked me what my favourite food is, it has always been Mom’s homemade cottage cheese perogies. She’d put fresh dill in the cottage cheese filling and served them up with a warm sour cream sauce and fried onions. Most folks had heard of the Ukranian kind of perogies with potato and cheddar, but not many have tried the Mennonite style. When Blair and I met, we were both surprised to learn that the other had even heard of cottage cheese perogies, nevermind that it was both of our favourite foods. Mom was delighted to learn that it was Blair’s favourite food, too, and that he knew how to make them. After that she always had Blair make the sauce for the perogies, letting him make the cream gravy that he grew up with so that he would feel welcome and included in our family, too. 

As soon as her grandkids were old enough, Mom had a step stool next to the kitchen counter so that Natalie, Claire, and Lauren could help with baking and cooking. At first it was just a chance for the girls to play next to Grandma, pouring the ingredients she’d already measured into the bowl, and sticking their fingers into the dough. But then it became doing the measuring themselves, kneading the bread dough, and rolling the sushi rolls themselves. I’m sad that my son Miles won’t get to experience cooking with Grandma, but I’m grateful that he got to meet her, that she still had the chance to share her love with him by feeding him bottles. I know that he will feel her love as I make for him Mom’s favourite recipes, and that one day he’ll be next to me sticking his fingers in the bread dough and learning about his Grandma. 

Food was a way for Mom to show she cared about me and the people she loved. Fondues, family dinners, holiday meals… they always tasted better because Mom put her heart in them.

When you go home today, please cook up one of mom’s recipes or your very favourite food, and raise a fork and toast her. And know that she loved feeding you.