Author: Andie
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The Light in the Middle
One of the most diffcult things I’ve found in living with stage 4 cancer, is the lack of stories of each other. Don’t get me wrong. I know how this story ends: I know the timeline, I know the side effects, I know things are going to suck. I’ve done plenty of raging and crying…
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Rage Against the World
This is not the news I wanted to share today, instead it’s a flaming hot pile of bullshit. But here we are. Last week I got CT scan results back. Apparently the cancer has metastasized into my brain. It has caused my right hand to go numb, and causes a bit of tension in my…
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For Mom
I wrote this eulogy for my wonderful Mom, Lorraine, who passed away from stage 4 breast cancer. I’d been struggling to come up with what to say for today’s celebration for my Mom. Grief avoidance? Probably. How do you take all those memories of one of your favourite people and condense it down into a…
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Fiery Poops and Brain Fuzz
It still almost doesn’t feel real. Here I am, a week and a half after my first chemo treatment and it’s still hard to believe that I have to deal with this shit again. Last week was probably a lot harder than it needed to be, given that it was Christmas. I really wanted to…
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This is my “This is Bullshit” face
This is my “this is bullshit” face. I never thought I’d be here the first time. I hoped I wouldn’t be here a second time. But here I am. Last week we learned that my breast cancer has returned and has metastasized into my lung, liver, and bones. In March I had reached my 5…
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Legends & Lattes
“I’m… not really good at speeches. So I won’t try to make a good one. But I wanted to tahnk you, all of you.” Her eyes suddenly stung. “This… all this… This was a gift you gave to me. And I…” She grimaced at Cal, and then at Tandri. “I didn’t deserve it. The things…
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Fingers to Keyboard
Last night, for the first time in a very long time (six months? A year?) I actually made time to write again. I decided at 10pm that I would spend an hour writing. I haven’t been doing things to fill my bucket lately (baby, business, etc), and especially 2022 was so stressful, so my goal…
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The Dead Romantics
“I believe people. Even if it’s weird, even if it doesn’t make sense, I want to believe them. I want to see the good in them. I give my heart to everyone I meet and I put it in everything I do. And sometimes it hurts–often it hurts, actually…” And I glanced back to Ben,…
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Participant of Hope
This past weekend, I was honoured to be the Participant of Hope at the Fraser Valley Relay for Life for the Canadian Cancer Society. I got to share my story, so here it is! This is a story about Dungeons & Dragons. And about Fundraising. Little of both. The first time I fundraised for the…
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They Promised Me the Gun Wasn’t Loaded
“Those are the only two possibilities?”“Those are the only two probabilities,” Calon says, “I would never pretend to know what’s possible. [They Promised Me the Gun Wasn’t Loaded by James Alan Gardner]